Suddenly it comes up in my mind, my past experience of KRK (Kebangunan Rohani Katolik – Catholic Spiritual Revival) in Atma Jaya long long time ago (7 years ago, I guess). I was one of the team members with my friends. The theme is “Surrender to Jesus”.
Last night, I thought about some things especially my plans for the next coming year. I know that I have some fears, but I also have some big dreams for me to pursue. I don’t know what future may bring. I don’t know if God will agree with me with my plans. It’s like a thick cloud surrounding my head, as I can’t see clearly what He plans for my life. There’s a big question mark in my head. Then I tried to stop thinking and I start to believe and pray to God. That I’m only a human and I’m not a psychic who knows my future. What I really know is that I have dreams and I’m really not going to give up on my dreams, until God answers “NO” and I will stop.
I know it’s not going to be easy, even I can say it’s impossible. Some closest people in my life advise me to reconsider about my plan. However, I still don’t want to give up. I’ll try and put my best effort until the end.
The word “SURRENDER” comes up again in my mind. I was trying to quit all the thoughts hanging around me when I prayed to God, asking for what His plan. When I remember this word “SURRENDER“, I feel peace. I know I can’t push God or other people so hard to agree with me. I just can say “God, I surrender all to You, for You know what’s best for me.”
I’m trying to stop complaining and start believing that God never sleeps. I believe that I have this passion so that I live day by day trying to run and pursue my dreams passionately.
Dear God, I surrender all my life to you, my past and my future. Let me live my present day to the fullest and always have my faith on You. Amen.